Bitch, Bi

I like women and men. Whilst society has taught us to think the term ‘bisexual’ is reserved for confused teenagers and porn sites, I am, in fact, a loud and proud bi woman.

Like most members of the LGBTQ+ community, I’ve been subject to harassment, bullying and prejudice from classmates, online trolls and work colleagues. Less than twelve months ago, I was told, to my face, that it was wrong for gay people to adopt a child as kids should have both a mother and a father. Dot. Dot. Dot.

I’m not even going to start picking apart that argument, because that would take me about 1,000 years and my eyes would fall out of my head from rolling so hard.

NONETHELESS (big word, I know) my point stands; being gay is hard.

Being LGBTQ+ in 2019

So, when the Wicked Witch of the West that is Ann Widdecombe declared on national television last week that science could possibly produce a cure for gayness, I thought, ‘what the fuck?’.

Then, just a few days ago, two women who were literally just sitting on a bus on their way home were attacked by a gang of men who tried to force the couple to kiss. I reiterate my earlier point: what the fuck?

I have always maintained that having a whole porn category titled ‘lesbian’ should be reserved for gay sites. Being able to access lesbian porn and not gay porn on most websites perpetuates the notion that pornography is reserved for men only, and reduces women loving women to exist only for the male gaze.

It also creates a culture that entitles a group of men to insist that two women, whom they have never met before, kiss in public and in front of them to satisfy some perverse sexual need.

What the news doesn’t show…

Whilst heinous stories such as the above thankfully don’t frequent our headlines, what the news doesn’t show us on the daily is how, even now in 2019, members of the LGBTQ+ are constantly facing some type of discrimination.

Personally, most of my teasing came from high school – and if anyone wants to call bullying ‘character building’, I kindly invite you to fuck off. I couldn’t get changed in the girls’ locker room for P.E. without someone insisting that I was looking at them (firstly hun no one is looking at your ugly mug and secondly you’re not my type so do one), I had rumours about my sexuality spread like wildfire across the whole school and even people I once thought were friends suddenly felt uncomfortable around me.

As an adult, the attitude towards me as an LGBTQ+ person is more subtle, but cuts more deeply. Children can almost be excused for being ignorant, but adults have no excuse. It’s the children that aren’t taught about LGBTQ+ relationships at school who turn into the grown-ups who attack people on busses for being gay. They turn into the people who think that same-sex relationships are an illness that need to be cured.

June is Pride Month – Do Something About It

We’re currently in the first few days of June, which also happens to be pride month. Instead of shoving a filter on your Facebook profile picture and seeing Ariana Grande at Pride, actually do something about the injustices that still exist towards gay people. You don’t need your straight pride – each day of the year straight people can express their love for one another without fear. It isn’t debated in schools whether ‘heterosexual relationships’ should be taught.

Instead, if you hear someone being homophobic, biphobic or transphobic – say something. If you see a same-sex couple being harassed – intervene. Fight with us, not against us because let me tell you something: being gay is hard, but being gay is also wonderful and magical and allows you to feel as if you’re a part of something bigger than yourself.

So, Ann Widdecombe, so bus wankers, so M&S who thought supporting LGBT people meant turning the acronym into a ‘Lettuce Guacamole Bacon and Tomato’ sandwich – fuck off.

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1 Comment

  1. Matt Lamour June 8, 2019 / 5:36 pm

    Far too often, when it comes to issues of race, gender, or sexual identity, there are hordes of people claiming to be “allies” of whatever group, but when it comes to actually defending them and calling out those who would question their personhood, they are woefully silent. If you are going to support your PoC or LGBTQA+ or female friends against their obvious systemic oppression, you need to actually support them, not just say you do with empty gestures. Great blog post, Nic.

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